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Most people think of their soulmate in an earthly romantic way.  “He’s the love of my life!”  “I can’t live without her!”  “He is the only one that understands me.”  “She is the only one that accepts me totally for who I am.”  In the spiritual realm, your soulmate can sometimes entail the very opposite!”

Often relationships with soulmates are extremely intense and challenging.  It can often mean a tremendous test in terms of love and spiritual union.  Your union together as a couple often serves as a catalyst to learn the deeper aspects of love.  Do you truly understand the definition of love?  Love is something that we tend to say we know about, but on questioning some of my siblings, other than the normal earthly generalizations, I rarely hear anyone describing a spiritual partnership with their soulmate or the deeper aspects of what love truly means.

In new age circles, there seems to be more and more people talking about spiritual partnerships and referring to what we would previously term as their wives or husbands, as spiritual partners – sometimes outside the the institute of conventional marriage.  There are many cases of couples being together for years and years, without getting married.  When we listen to these couples talk about love, they view their partnership as strong if not stronger than a traditional husband/wife union.

With the growing rate of divorce occurring in our world today, is it not time to review and update our traditional marriage institution?  I recognize the evolution of marriage and union, more so in developed countries.  More and more people have been disillusioned with the piece of certificate that so called “binds” us as a couple.  What appears to be a binding contract can actually be quite easily undone, leaving us free to pursue other “binding” contracts as many times as we like.

Does it really take a piece of paper and a ceremony to deem you as a real couple till death do you part?  Have we not missed the real purpose and essence of a spiritual union?  In truth, we all have several soulmates out there that we have had lifetimes with.  In this lifetime, one of your soulmates may be much younger or older than you, in a country that you haven’t had an opportunity to be in, etc.  That is why each of us several soulmates out there at one time.

Real soulmates provide us the opportunity, through challenging events, environment etc. to learn what love and spiritual union is all about.  Rather than aiming for a union that lasts for ever and having children and a successful career, a spiritual partnership is more about carrying through an agreement that we made with each other before incarnating into this lifetime to live our lives fully, utilizing the specific strengths of the other and together fulfilling the souls’ needs to bring purpose, love and meaning to the world.  The inspiration for others is achieved through the lessons that we have learnt together as a couple about love and union.

The next time you wonder why you haven’t met your soulmate yet, think about whether you are really ready to take this on.  Don’t forget that nothing is asked of us that we do not have the capacity to achieve and yet, when we are not yet ready to take on the task, finding our soulsmate remains mysteriously elusive.

Family to most of us means our biological parents, siblings and relatives.  Other than that, however, we also have our spiritual family to consider.  Have you ever met someone for the first time and yet something inside you clicks and you connect with them instantly, feeling as if you have known them for a long time?  Even though you have just met them, you feel extremely comfortable and familiar with them.  You may very well have just met a member of your spiritual family.

Our spiritual family members serve a special role on our spiritual journey.  Often, they have been present in many of our past lives serving as catalysts for the bigger lessons in our lives.  At times, a friend in this lifetime could have been one of our parents in another lifetime.  Their are many variables in the types of relationship that we have or had.

Sometimes the appearance of a spiritual family member indicates that there is unresolved karma or lessons that we were not able to learn and master in previous lifetimes.  As our main life lessons can be extremely challenging and difficult to learn, we often make “pacts” with certain members of our spiritual family before we are reincarnated to help in our next lifetime.  It often takes someone who cares for us or someone that we care enough about, to even sit up and pay special attention to the lesson at hand.

As I reflect back on my own life so far, most of my bigger life lessons were learnt through people that I cared deeply for, even though they are not part of my biological family.  As I struggled with the bigger lessons, sometimes failing to understand or master it, another “friend” would show up, being the catalyst for the same lesson.

Lately, I think I have just started to connect the dots.  As I look back on my own life, one particular lesson has been mirrored time and time again through various catalysts including both my biological family and spiritual family.  Unconditional love must have been a lesson that I have failed time and time again in previous lifetimes and I must have been extremely determined to learn it this lifetime, as this seems to be a major theme in this lifetime.

I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to learn this lesson and I thank each and everyone of my catalysts.  You too may want to reflect on your own life lessons.  Is there a recurring theme as you look back?  Until you actually sit up and take notice, it will reoccur in many different forms, growing in strength and urgency.  This is the life contract that you agreed to, before you reincarnated into this lifetime.  The sooner you learn it, the better!

In my work, I am often asked for advice/opinions from other siblings when they are facing some life choices.  What I have noticed is that most people categorize their choices as being  right/wrong, or good/bad.  In the past, I myself  have made my choices based on this criteria and I can’t say that it has worked out well for me.

I have discovered that choices are far more complicated than just a matter of right or wrong, good or bad.  Right to who’s standard and circumstances?  Good for who?  At the end of the day, doesn’t it have to be right for you and good for you, taking into account the whole picture of who you are?  In other words, rather than making choices from just a logical point of view and from our heads, is this not something where our hearts need to be involved?

Most of us have fallen under the cultural spell that there is something inherently wrong with us.  It is this fear that drives us to perfectionism and we think that we must therefore do the right thing, make the right choice or else we will be proven as being wrong, bad or sadly lacking in some way.  In our desperation to hide our flaws, or perceived weaknesses, our minds go into hyper-vigilant mode as we analyze and flip our decisions over and over again in our minds, fearful that we are not getting it right.

Choices are how we learn, grow, evolve and come to know who we are and what we value.   No single choice defines us and yet every single choice reflects the essence of our soul.  Where we are today and who we are is a sum total of consequences that have materialized from all the choices that we have made.

When we spin up into our heads like that, we are sadly missing the bigger picture.  Life is nothing but one large process of our soul’s evolution back to love. There’s nothing to get ‘right’! Yet in our perfectionism and attempt to ‘get it right’ we lose the most powerful part of our choice guidance system.  Spun up in our head, we lose our heart.

So long as we stay only in our intellect when making choices, are we greatly limited on our life journey.  Our minds think, but our hearts know.

Don’t get me wrong.  Our intellect has its purpose.  We need to gather facts,  look at alternatives and assess the practical realities in which we live in.  Yet the mind alone cannot sense the bigger picture and what serves the highest good, the way our heart can.  It is from this balance of both intellect and heart coming together to both see and feel a choice that we can make choices that are true to us and best serve us.

A true choice understands that life is a process from which wisdom comes through making mistakes.  Good judgment comes from experiences.  A true choice uses the guidance system of the soul, the heart.  The intellect accesses the guidance system of the ego.  The ego’s sole purpose is to control our lives in a way that defend it’s wounds and fear.  A true choice is one that moves us away from fear-based life and returns us to life of love and peace.

Our physical body is the vessel/house/temple where our soul resides.  We use our bodies and its many amazing functions to express our souls.  Our soul is the sum total of who we truly are.  You would think that knowing this, we would be less occupied with our physical bodies and more concerned with the development of our soul and yet society seems to be obsessed with the appearance of our physical bodies.  Have we lost our focus?

As long as we look after the health of our bodies to the best of our ability, should we not be focusing on more important things?  What I have noticed is that the majority of siblings that are obsessed with their bodies are actually acting out of fear.  Their concerns stem from the fear that they will be judged, labeled, or God forbid, unlovable.  The fear takes over and consumes them, eating away at their souls, one bite at a time.

Don’t get me wrong.  I think our physical bodies are the most amazing gift that God gave us and I am eternally grateful that all my organs run like clockwork enabling me to experience life to the fullest.  The power of our mind astounds me.  Science is still researching and trying to understand some aspects of our bodies and I am sure that some things have still remained undiscovered to this day.  How extraordinary is that?

What I am actually talking about is that there is a fine line between knowing your body, respecting and loving it, looking after it well and  trying to change it because you don’t like the way it looks, or you fear that others will judge your body and mistake it your body for who you are.  It’s quite obvious which behavior stems from love, and which from fear.  The pressure and the stress of doing something out of fear alone, will kill you.

If your attitude and behavior is stemming from some form of fear, perhaps you could choose to work on these lessons and in so doing, nurture your soul.  Are you lacking self-confidence?  Do you not love yourself enough and therefore need validation from others?  Actually if you work on the health of your soul, you will probably find that your physical body will readjust, heal itself and reflect what you think of it.  It’s no secret that all our physical illnesses stem from our negative emotions and limiting beliefs about ourselves.

Whenever I am in a balanced state of mind, not only do I feel more “beautiful”, but people actually comment about how good I look.  In reality, I haven’t changed at all, but perhaps my soul is shining through and my body is reflecting how I feel inside.  If you have heard the saying, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover”, your body would be the cover, and your soul would be the book.  Have you, personally been focusing too much on your body or on someone else’s body for that matter?

The body is of course but one of our many obsessions.  For some, it is their hair, job, career car etc.  to the point of feeling as if they are lost without that thing or to the point when that thing becomes their whole identity.  How is that possible, when the soul is eternal?  All these other external things and roles are merely the vessel/vehicle or means by which our souls express themselves in the world.

The beliefs and feelings that each one of us has regarding power are based on our own life experiences and can be quite diverse.  Some of the more common stigmas about power show up especially regarding women.  I have heard powerful women being called derogatory names and sometimes the attacker will attempt to disguise their own fear, jealousy and issues with power, by projecting a form of non-acceptance on to others.

Some cultures have an outright hierarchy with males being the supreme gender., especially in the corporate world.  Guilt has also been laid on by society when a mother chooses to be part of the workforce.  As a result of this, some women have actually denied their own power as they don’t want to appear too masculine, or because they fear people won’t like them and will leave them.  Women, along with everyone else, have every right to be accepted into society.

I have also seen men deny their own power in countries where the culture labels power as aggression, nasty or uncivilized.  We normally see this in third world or developing countries where the soul age of the actual country itself is in its infant cycle.  Countries with an infant soul age will have a government which is quite restricting and suppressive to its citizens.  A lot of fear is still present, there is little risk-taking and the government will have an overall attitude of  “do it our way or else.”

On the other side of the coin, there are many of our siblings who abuse their power and use it to manipulate and bully others.  This is actually a confusion between power and aggression.  Aggression stems from fear and is a form of scarcity-thinking.  It is therefore, the complete opposite of power.  It is a misuse of power for selfish means rather than self-less purposes.

When you stand in your power and use it in a healthy way you are coming from a place of love, compassion and abundance-thinking.  Power, is healthy boundaries, strength, assertiveness and the ability to speak your truth.  It is natural, not forced, it just is.  Think of a thunderstorm, a powerful waterfall, or the hooves of a galloping horse pounding the earth.

You have both the right and the responsibility to stand in your power and to speak your truth so that you can be a positive role model to your other siblings.   If you are female, other women will benefit from your courage.  If you are a man, you are a role model to other men to demonstrate what true power looks and feels like.  Some one who is truly powerful, is peaceful.  There is no fighting or aggression involved.

When you are making your decisions and choices about your life, job or relationships, don’t say yes, if you mean no or I’m not sure.  Stay open, listen politely to your other siblings and NEVER FORGET who you are.  Speak your truth without fear and without guilt.  Your power is God-given and just is.  Stand in it and use it positively!  Why would you want to deny it or give it away to someone else?

Have you ever been confused and overwhelmed by your own issues and challenges?  In reality, issues can be extremely easy to sort out if we don’t complicate matters for ourselves!  For clarity, the first thing to do is to quieten down and center yourself.  This means, stopping everything for just one moment and turning into yourself.  In the core of you, is a space where all truth, wisdom and therefore simplicity resides.

When you stay in your own still space, it is quite easy to differentiate between fact and fiction.  The starting point of everything for you is, of course, you!  So start with you and nothing else.  Ignore the issue for now.  Who are you?  What are your values and beliefs?  How do you want to live your life?  Whatever they are, this is your truth and you need to be true to yourself at ALL TIMES, no matter what the circumstances.  Do not give in, compromise, get sucked in or allow others to take away your personal power in any way.    It is actually a dis-service to your fellow siblings if you do this.  The first and foremost responsibility that you have is to look after yourself.

When you are aligned with yourself, you are actually better able to help or deal with anyone else.  If you compromise your truth, it is a long and slippery slope downhill.  In the end, it is not even possible for the outcome to be positive, because your starting point was incorrect in the first place.

If the issue and solution is aligned with who you are (your truth), then there’s no issue at all.  If the solution is not aligned with your truth, it is now easy to decide what to do isn’t it?  Don’t complicate matters with tiny details when the truth rings out clear and strong.  Don’t cloud your judgement with guilt, obligation etc.  Use your inner compass.

An example of this principle is illustrated by an incident related to me by another sibling.  She said “what do I do when a friend of mine insists on complaining about everything in a negative way?  I can’t take it anymore.  It’s so draining.  She never takes my advice, but loves dumping all her troubles on me.  I don’t like it and she won’t stop.”

This sibling had compromised herself by giving in and listening even though it wasn’t aligned with her truth, which was that she didn’t want to hear it and it was draining her.  The story goes that she complained about this incident to another mutual friend.  The end result?  The story teller felt upset and resentful, her friend felt embarrassed and betrayed and a third friend was dragged into the whole mess!

I explained that it was all actually her own fault, and that she was responsible for creating the mess.  By listening in the first case, she had already given permission for her friend to unload.  She could have said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not able to help right now.”  Clear and simple.  If  she had spoken her truth, she would have been better able to help her friend in the future when she was strong, able and the timing was right.

So speak, act and live your truth.  Stay in your space and don’t get lost in the forest!

Well what an extraordinary title to this week’s blog entry!  I can just hear the exclamations and protests ringing out…  Let me highlight that the word enemies is in inverted commas for they of course, are not your enemies, but your soulsiblings.

If you have truly grasped the concepts of spirituality and view every single person as one of your soulsiblings, you would think nothing strange of this statement.  Are you able to let go and to forgive and go even one step further?  If you view your soulsiblings as being one with you and being no different from you, your eyes will not see the evil and fear in this world that we have all created as a collective consciousness.  You wouldn’t condemn yourself for your mistakes, so why would you your brother or sister?

This is actually a wonderful way to complete the process of freeing yourself from your negative ego and reconfirming your spirituality and oneness with everything as well as acknowledging that everything is occurring as it should be, according to Divine will.

In many different versions of the bible, the same message appears as “But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you.”

And being in accord with what God wills, he has the power to heal and bless all those he looks on with the grace of God upon his sight.

For difficult situations, in the same way, ask the Archangels and the Ascended Masters to bless the situation with love and grace.  You can even ask the Holy Spirit to remove all karmic attachments and lessons to the situation.  In the eyes of the Holy Spirit, there is no such thing as sin, but only mistakes.  As they are just mistakes, they are correctable.

In the spiritual world, all miracles, no matter big or small are the same.  It is no harder for God or the Holy Spirit to perform a miracle that with our perception we view as big or difficult.  Simply ask, and it will be given.

Blessings and miracles come in many disguises and may not be in the form that you are expecting or may even pass you by unrecognized.

I remember a story highlighting this about a man ship-wrecked on a deserted island.  As he was a deeply religious man, he started praying to God.  “Dear God, please come and rescue me.  I want to go home.  At this moment of time, you would not forsake me, would you?”  He would continue to pray like this every day for several weeks as his desperation deepened.

One day, whilst deep in prayer, a fisherman passed by in his tiny boat and called out to him.  “What are you doing here on this deserted island? Come, I will take you in my fishing boat”.  “My boat was destroyed in the storm and I was washed up here”, said the man.  “I have prayed to God, and I know he will not forsake me in this time of need.  Don’t you worry, God will rescue me and I shall be able to go home.”

A couple of weeks later, a huge liner passed by and noticed the remains of the man’s damaged boat.  On closer investigation, the captain saw through his binoculars what looked like a lone figure on the beach of a small island nearby.  Immediately, he sent some of his crew on a boat to the island.  Dear man, you look like you have been shipwrecked.  You must be starving.  Come back with us on the ship and we will look after you.”  “No,” said the man.  “I know without a doubt that God will answer my prayers.  I have asked him to save me and so he will.  My faith will carry me through this and I shall wait for him.”

A few days later, a helicopter flew overhead, and upon seeing this lone man slumped over on the beach, decided to see if any assistance was needed.  “Dear man, you are obviously ship-wrecked and in dire need of medical attention.  Let us take you to a hospital.”  “Oh no.”  said the man.  “I have asked God to save me and I know that my prayers will not be in vain and will be answered.  I shall wait for him to save me.”

Needless to say, after so many weeks on the island, the man eventually succombed to death.  On meeting up with God in heaven, he implored “Father!  I prayed and prayed for you to come and save me.  Why didn’t you answer my prayers?  I have been a man of  faith all my life and yet you have forsaken me.  Why didn’t you come and save me?”

God’s reply was, “My dear child, I will never forsake you for I love you more than anything and will always answer your prayers.  Why didn’t you accept all my attempts to help when I sent the fisherman, the liner and the helicopter to your rescue?”

So what is the moral of the story?  In times of need, desperation may mask the myriad of opportunities to save ourselves.  Are you recognizing all the opportunities before you and making good choices to save yourself?  Don’t forget that our blessings may come in many forms – perhaps in the form of a person giving you sound advice, or an offer that will totally remove you from your current situation.  Sometimes, something that you think you want, comes to an abrupt end seemingly not from your own choice.

The only question is, will you see it, feel it or hear it?  Will you recognize and grasp the opportunity?  Or will you choose to remain paralyzed, wallowing in your own misery, fretting, lamenting and feeling all alone?  I know what I would do.  In times of need, open your eyes, turn up the awareness and look for blessings in its many forms.  Recognize, accept and give thanks for the many miracles that happen in your daily life as you will not be forsaken!

Not many of us are able to both give and to receive in a balanced way.  Some of us find it easier to give and yet feel uncomfortable when another sibling is wanting to give to us.  I suspect that whatever the reason for this difficulty is, it is laced with some form of inadequacy or guilt.  Maybe you feel as if you don’t deserve to receive, or you don’t love yourself enough to do so.

For those who find it extremely easy to receive and even to take, this stems from a scarcity-consciousness.  If one doesn’t feel as if there is enough of anything in their life, they usually experience a need to grab what they feel they need and to hoard it.  I can definitely say that this person would have extreme difficulties having an abundant life and in turn become the creators of a self-fulfilling prophesy that there is not enough for everybody.

In terms of energy, it is a universal law that energy flows both ways and is continuous.  So if you are not able to both give and to receive in a balanced way, the energy becomes blocked.  When energy becomes blocked, you will see this manifesting in your life as sudden starts and stops in your circumstances.  You may feel out of balance or if it is extreme, you may even encounter physical discomforts or illnesses.

In this way, it is important to keep the energy flowing so that things in your life manifest smoothly and easier.  You have probably heard of the term “going with the flow”.  Well, if you have stopped the energy flowing in one way or the other, it can no longer flow, can it?

Some other universal laws include “you reap what you sow”, “what goes around comes around”, “give in order to receive”.  As these are all universal laws, let me just point out that you cannot break or change a universal law.  If you try to, you will only cause disappointment, problems, difficulties and eventually even paralysis, in that you feel “out of sorts” or as if you are going nowhere.

In order to address this, rethink giving and receiving.  Make sure you are balanced in both.  Don’t be a push-over or a doormat, and don’t be a stingy selfish hoarder.  Change your thoughts, change your life!